After The One (The One Series Duet) Read online

  I felt sick.

  “Our business doesn’t have to be done though. You and I were good together and we could be good together again.”

  “We didn’t work out for a reason, and that reason was so I could meet the woman I am going to make my wife. Listen to me carefully: this is it. We work in the same industry so we may have to see each other professionally, but we don’t have a personal relationship. If we happen to be at a studio at the same time, that’s one thing, but do not try—what the hell are you doing?”

  Julian’s voice went from gravelly to fuming.

  “Just come here.”

  “Try that again and I’ll have your crazy ass arrested. You got your money. Go home and don’t fucking come back.”

  “You’re just saying that because you’re drunk.”

  “Oh I’m not drunk. I’m saying it because I don’t want you here. Do you understand me?”

  “Has the stress of the wedding driven you to drink? Is that what this is?”

  “No, I’m drinking because you’re still here.”

  “How about this…you kiss me, and if you don’t feel anything, I’ll drop it and I’ll leave.”

  “How about this…you leave here right now or I’ll have security remove you from the premises.”

  “You expect me to believe you’re going to call security and risk your precious Zoe finding out you called me and you—”

  “I swear to God, Lillian.” He let out a vulgar noise before I heard angry stomping. “The money was for your silence. If you can’t provide that, then I will sue you for breach of contract. Leave. Now.”

  She cackled like a villain. “Come on, Julian! You had to expect that this would happen. You reached out to me. You said you needed me and I delivered for you. Yeah, you gave me money, but now I want more. Ah ah ah…before you say something you’re going to regret, let’s look at this for what it is. You want me to keep this secret. You don’t want Zoe to know. You don’t want anyone to know. Now what are you willing to do to keep me quiet?”

  I sucked in a strangled breath. My eyes shut temporarily as I waited for Julian’s response.

  “I’ve done all I’m going to do. You will keep this to yourself. You will carry your ass out of here. And I will marry the woman I love. Period. This is it. It’s over. Done.”

  So something happened between them? For something to be over, it had to have started…

  Even as I thought it, I didn’t believe it. It just didn’t add up. It made no sense at all.

  The biggest fight Julian and I had ever had was about Lillian Pierce.

  Julian needed to meet the pop-country superstar Juliet in Nashville to record a remix of her biggest hit with R&B sensation Bella. Lillian’s Black Heart Studios were some of the best studios in the country so I knew Julian would cross paths with her at some point, but he did everything in his power to utilize other quality studios. Unfortunately, if an artist committed to a studio before he was brought on to produce, there’s nothing he can do about it.

  Julian told me he was working at Black Heart Studios. He told me that when he got there, Lillian was there. He even told me that Lillian had crossed the line and tried to proposition him, but the night before he was supposed to return home, he said he was about to head to his hotel room to relax. I told him goodnight and finished prepping for a case. When I woke up the next morning, photos of Julian out at a club with Lillian surfaced.

  Juliet had invited him out for her birthday and he didn’t know Lillian was going to be there. He ended up drinking and hanging out with everyone—including Lillian. I felt disrespected that he would spend time with a woman who openly disrespected me and our relationship. The argument went from bad to worse before he made it back to California, but eventually we were able to resolve it.

  He swore he wouldn’t have any further contact with her unless he happened to be working at one of her three studios. I closed my eyes as the betrayal made my eyes sting. Yet here we are.

  “Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” Lillian reiterated, desperation in her voice. “And you know I’m good at whatever.”

  As I heard Lillian pleading with Julian, I felt nauseated and heartbroken at the same time. Overwhelmed, I couldn’t stomach anymore. I turned on my heel and fled down the steps. I walked as quickly as I could, not letting my heels touch the ground. I didn’t stop until I got to the open doors of the ballroom.

  A chirpy voice interrupted my thoughts. “Hi, hi, Zoe. Excuse me, can we um…can we speak with you? Just for a second. Please?”

  I debated for a second before I turned and looked at the jumpy producer. I was contractually obligated to give one one-on-one interview per filmed wedding event. Because I knew I was going to leave as soon as I said goodbye to my family and friends, I figured I might as well get it over with right then and there.

  I turned, mustering up a smile. “Sure.”

  “Oh thank goodness!” The woman turned and waved a camera crew over toward us. “I wasn’t getting anywhere in there. The other producers are like vultures! I’m Pam.”

  “Hi Pam.” I reached out and shook her hand. “I’m Zoe.”

  “Oh, I know who you are! You’re the reason I applied for this position in the first place. I wanted to work with real people and wanted to focus on documentaries, but when someone on social media posted a video clip of you leaving The One and then Julian coming back for you, I realized there’s a real chance for real stories to come out of reality TV. You inspired me.”

  Oh wow. I was genuinely delighted by her words. That’s so sweet.

  It always took me by surprise when people said something about my reality TV stint impacting them. It was usually at a public event with Julian and it was usually about our love story, but on rare occasions, someone would speak about how they appreciated my authenticity. That never failed to fill me with pride because if nothing else, I wanted to come across as me—not as a stereotype, not as a caricature, not as a token, just me.

  For a brief moment, my bruised heart and twisted stomach was appeased by the sense that my stint on reality TV was meaningful and impactful.

  “I appreciate that. Thank you,” I graciously replied to her words.

  “And you look fantastic. You have a glow. Maybe it’s love…” Pam declared with a wistful look in her brown eyes.

  My stomach plummeted at the mention of the word love. I heard Lillian’s voice threatening to tell me whatever it was that Julian was hiding.

  He’s not messing around with her. He’s not. I don’t know what’s going on, but he’s not cheating on me. I don’t want to rush to judgement, but I can’t discount what I heard. He’s keeping something from me.

  “Zoe?” Pam queried, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

  I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I blinked repeatedly, shifting my gaze from her worried look to the cameraman’s blank stare. “I’m sorry, what was your question?”

  “I was just asking if you were ready. We’re about to start rolling,” Pam said slowly.

  I smiled. “Ready.”

  “First, congratulations on your engagement.” She turned and signaled to the cameraman who gave a thumbs-up to indicate he was rolling. She turned back to me and smiled. “Can you tell us a little about this weekend? Can you tell us about how you’re feeling? You are two days away from your wedding!”

  I thought about the question for a moment. “This weekend is overwhelming,” I admitted slowly, knowing I had to be careful with my words. “There are a lot of events scheduled and I’ve never been completely comfortable with that aspect of this weekend, but I’m also excited knowing that at the end of all this, I will be Julian’s wife. That makes it all worthwhile.”

  “This meet-and-greet event is supposed to be an opportunity for all of your attendees to get to know each other. I know the party just started thirty minutes ago, but so much has happened so far. Do you think that momentum will carry through the wedding weekend?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t
know. Most of the people in attendance were invited by Robert Brady and—”

  Pam’s button nose scrunched in apology as she interrupted. “I’m so sorry. Um, I don’t think we can use that answer.”

  I crossed my arms. “It’s the truth. I know a handful of people here. My friends who aren’t in the wedding party can’t afford this place so they aren’t driving in until tomorrow or Sunday. The people here are here for you guys. They aren’t here to celebrate my union with the man I love. They’re here for the party and publicity. I’m not saying they don’t wish us well; I’m sure most, if not all of them do. But there’s a distinct difference between people who are around you to celebrate you and people who are around to celebrate.”

  She nodded profusely, a spark in her eyes. “Cut, cut.” She waved her hand at the camera guy. Looking at me, she grinned. “I agree with you, but I think we both know that’s not going to air.”

  I lifted my hands, palms up. “I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s the truth.”

  “Okay, we can roll again. Action.” She paused for a few seconds and then said, “A lot of relationships that develop on this show don’t last. A lot of relationships with celebrities don’t last. What do you think are the reasons you and Julian have not only lasted this long, but are taking the leap into marriage?”

  Without thinking, I started listing some of the reasons. “A genuine commitment to love, trust, loyalty, respect and friendship. There’s a lot more to our relationship than that, but those are the principles we built our relationship on.”

  “Perfect. Thank you.” Pam handed her clipboard back to someone I assumed was an assistant.

  The cameraman turned to enter the ballroom and the assistant followed. Pam’s nervous demeanor endeared me to her. I knew I needed to keep my guard up with producers and really everyone who worked for The One, but Pam just seemed charmingly sweet and truly kind.

  “You’re welcome. I hope you got what you needed.” I started to walk off when she started speaking again.

  “I really appreciate you taking the time to talk. I know you don’t want to be involved with this.” She gestured to the ballroom behind her. “We were all briefed on the conditions of your participation and…” She looked around and stepped closer, lowering her voice. “I’m really impressed that you stood up for yourself and what you wanted. I struggle with asking for what I want, but I-I’m really inspired by you.”

  She was so sincere that my spirit actually felt lifted by her genuine kindness.

  “Thank you, Pam. And I hope you start asking for and going for what you want.” I started to walk away, but added, “Just remember that what you want and what you need matters and if you don’t fight for you, who will?”

  “Thank you!” She almost squealed as she bounded away in the direction of her camera crew.

  I pulled out my phone to send a text message to Koko when I felt someone staring at me. I looked, skimming the area around me and not seeing anyone. I went back to typing my message and didn’t look up again until I was about to hit send.

  “Hey Zoe,” his deep voice sounded so familiar that it cut through the thoughts in my head and the music in the air.

  It couldn’t be…

  My eyes snapped up and I froze. It was who I thought it was—standing three feet in front of me.

  You hurt me and then just appear out of nowhere with a ‘Hey Zoe’ like we’re on the up and up.

  “There you are,” Julian exclaimed as he walked out of the ballroom. “I’m supposed to give this welcome toast or something Robert sprung on me and I told him I couldn’t start it until I found you.” He slipped his arms around me and pulled me into him possessively. A quick alcohol-infused kiss was dropped on my lips. “My phone died earlier while I was taking care of business. What are you up to?”

  My mouth opened and closed twice as I felt thrown for a loop. I shifted my eyes to my fiancé and licked my lips. I was reeling. “Hey,” I responded slowly, my voice strained.

  I was acting weird and I knew it. I could feel my discomfort radiating from me. I wasn’t nervous at all, because I had nothing to be nervous about, but everything that had taken place over the last fifteen to twenty minutes was throwing me and my brain off. I could tell by the look in Julian’s eye and the clench in his jaw that he was trying to figure out what was going on and the silence wasn’t helping.

  I swallowed hard. “Julian…this is Tate. Tate, this is Julian, my fiancé.”

  Julian stared at Tate for a second before taking his arm from around me and extending it his way. “Tate, ex-boyfriend, New York Generals. Welcome to our wedding weekend.”

  Tate let out a short laugh as he shook hands with Julian. “Thanks for having me, Julian, current boyfriend—“

  “Fiancé,” Julian corrected him, his eyes narrowing a bit.

  “Ah, yes. Fiancé.” Tate said the word like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

  They didn’t say anything else, but were still engaged in a death stare while squeezing the life out of each other’s hands. I looked at how their skin reddened as they gripped each other.

  I rolled my eyes, pushing at their clasped hands so they’d let go. “Are you two done with the pissing contest?”

  Julian flashed me a smile. “I was just getting to know your friend. I didn’t know he was invited to the wedding.”

  I know you’re not trying to give me shit for this when I caught your ass with Lillian and you did some shit with her that required you to pay her hush money to keep quiet.

  I gave Julian a look as I bit back my words, reigning in my anger. “Yeah, me either.” I turned to Tate. “You weren’t invited so you shouldn’t be here.”

  Tate looked between me and Julian with a smirk. “I just came to talk—”

  Julian started to speak, but I held up my hand to stop him. With my eyes narrowed in confusion and irritation, I gave Tate an incredulous look. “I haven’t seen you or talked to you in five years. We don’t have anything to talk about and you need to leave. You showing up, uninvited, is disrespectful to me and to my soon-to-be husband. Please see yourself out or I will call security.”

  Tate sighed, lifting his hands in defeat. “I apologize. I shouldn’t have ambushed the two of you like that. Have a good night.” Smoothing down the front of his suit, Tate exited the building.

  “That guy rubs me the wrong way,” Julian remarked as the door shut behind Tate.

  I turned and looked at Julian. “He’s my past, you’re my present. You get that difference, right?”

  “Yeah, I know the difference. Do you?” He looked around before putting his lips up against my ear. “I saw the way you were looking at him when I walked up.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I hissed, barely containing my composure. “You don’t even want to go there with me right now.”

  “I’m just—”

  “I don’t know what’s going on, but you both need to chill out. There’s a camera over there hiding, waiting for anything to happen,” Koko interrupted as she broke up our conversation in a firm, but hushed tone. She turned to Julian. “They came by the table three times looking for you. You’re supposed to do some interview and a toast so why don’t you go do that.” She turned to me. “And I just got your text. Are you ready?”

  “Ready for what?” Julian asked, scrubbing his face with his hands.

  “I’m leaving,” I answered, giving him a blank stare.

  “Leaving to go back to the villa? Already?”

  I glared at him before answering. “I don’t feel well. I saw something that turned my stomach.”

  His eyebrows flew up. “Are you leaving because of what happened with Tate? I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s not even about him. It’s been a hellish night and I may have had one more shot than necessary. I saw you two together and—I’m sorry. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I felt myself on the brink where anger and sadness met. “We’ll talk later. Go handle your business.”

  “Zoe, fuck th
em. I want to make sure you’re okay.” Julian grabbed my face and kissed me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against my lips. “I love you.”

  My emotions were all over the place and the last place I wanted to cry was in front of a bunch of strangers. I broke away from him. “I love you.”

  Chapter 12

  Why must you flavor your lies with the salt of my tears?

  The metallic taste of raw pain doesn’t sit well on my pallet.

  I swallow it anyway.

  Fresh.

  Rare.

  Unprepared.

  So fresh I still can hear the sound of it.

  So rare I don’t quite recognize it.

  So unprepared I don’t see it coming.

  Tender, firm skin gave no indication of what was within.

  But it’s cooked-to-order so you knew.

  The red, hot heat of hurt did not cook this pain through

  Chef or butcher, who are you?

  Raw pain seasoned isn’t something to savor.

  So don’t use the salt of my tears to give it flavor.

  As Koko loudly returned from a trip to the villa next door to grab margarita mix, I closed the pages of my notebook, hiding the poem I’d just written.

  “Okay, I needed a refill for this. I did not see this coming,” she sat down in the lounge chair beside me on the rooftop deck. “What do you mean by Tate is here? You mean, here here… like he’s here for the wedding weekend?” Her eyes were as big as saucers as she waited for an answer.

  Koko and I had the place to ourselves while we lamented on the roof. As soon as Koko saw Bryce, she was also ready to leave the meet-and-greet. Julian had to do an on-air interview with Bryce. Lenny and Keisha stayed with Scott, Omar and James and planned to get a ride back with them. So Koko and I sat on top of the villa, overlooking the gorgeous property. She drank her emotions away while I stewed in mine. Even the water glimmering under the moonlight and the beautiful view didn’t alter our moods.