Back to Life Read online

  Back to Life

  Danielle Allen

  Dedicated to you. With love.

  XOXO

  Copyright © 2013 by Danielle Allen

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system - except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine or newspaper - without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Sahara’s Playlist

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue

  May 2, 2003

  Best friends since birth, I knew Emily would come out with me if I pressed hard enough. Our parents went to college together, sealing our best friend fate and for that reason alone, I knew how to convince her to come out and party. “Emily Marie Mills! I just finished the hardest final of the semester today and you’ve been done since Tuesday. I just want a night out to celebrate. And what better way than to go to the Spring Social at Beta Tau Beta Fraternity?” I begged my best friend with my best pout.

  From the confines of her bed, Emily rolled her grey eyes and mocked my throaty voice, “Sahara Michelle Lee! You just finished the hardest final of the semester huh? Isn’t that what you said about our Biology final on Monday when you wanted to go to happy hour at Bull’s Eye?” Emily laughed as my pout became more dramatic.

  “Look, I don’t feel well. My head is killing me and I need to be well rested for the show tomorrow,” Emily complained with a smile. Emily was in school to be a teacher, but her passion was dance. Her mother had been part of a national ballet company while growing up in Lebanon but wouldn’t allow Emily to major in dance. Emily hoped to win over her parents’ approval with the freestyle dance recital hosted by the performing arts department on Saturday.

  “You’re Pre-Med; you should care more about my condition! And you are going to be 19 in a month—stop pouting!” Emily continued as she threw a throw pillow at me.

  “Throw pillows are not made for throwing!” I countered as I tried to dodge the pink checkered pillow. “This spring social is the biggest event of the year and we have attended almost every event at almost every frat house on campus. I’ve made sure our grades remained perfect. It is our right, nay, our duty to end our freshmen year with this party,” I said with a mock serious tone.

  “On my way back from class, Lynn, or Leeann or whatever her name is—Shawna’s roommate, said the president of BTB got into Harvard so he is personally going all out with this party. Apparently he’s trying to leave his mark on Delta Southern University. He’s paying for kegs and all types of liquor. The drinks will be flowing all night—for free! Do you really want to miss that?” I concluded slightly winded from not taking a breath. I could barely contain my excitement. Emily on the other hand didn’t seem to have a problem containing hers.

  After a long pause, Emily’s smile gave her away… I knew she was relenting so I hooked her with bait I knew she couldn’t and wouldn’t refuse. “We obviously are going to need to get the dresses we saw at Beck’s Boutique in order to go. I could go get them while you rest up in bed. My dad’s treat…” I said pulling two crisp hundred dollar bills from my wallet.

  The money was from my dad as a “freshman year complete” gift. I never had a problem sharing with my best friend. Emily has always been more of a sister than a best friend anyway. Our dads were fraternity brothers and we were born a few months apart. Although we looked like opposites and had no blood relation, we were sisters in every sense of the word.

  Emily cocked her head to the side and smirked. “Using the money from Uncle Malcolm as bait huh?” Emily called my dad Uncle Malcolm or Officer Lee depending on her mood and how much trouble she’s planning on getting us into. “You are a piece of work, you know that?” Shaking her head, Emily smiled and snuggled down in her covers, “I would’ve gone without you buying the dress.”

  Throwing my arms around her body as she lay cocooned in her comforter, I admitted, “I would’ve bought you the dress even if you didn’t go!”

  Emily and I knew we were pretty girls, but we dressed to turn heads in our Beck’s dresses. With my curvier figure and her lean dancer’s body, no one could really tell that Emily and I wore the same dress in different colors. Excited by our dresses and the hype around campus, we arrived at the Beta Tau Beta Fraternity House ready for a good night. Dancing the night away with drinks in our hands, I don’t think either of us realized how tipsy we truly were. Emily’s long black hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. Her red backless dress that complemented her olive complexion was wrinkled and the black BCBG pumps were in her hands. As an up-tempo hip hop beat was throbbing through the speakers, Emily’s 5’10” frame thrashed around in an intricate old school dance move.

  The room was sweltering and the glassiness of my vision and Emily’s off beat dance moves let me know it was time to go. I pulled my kinky twists into a ponytail and pulled down my black backless dress that had inched up my thighs. As I stood, I swayed to the right in my red BCBG pumps and almost collided with one of the Beta Tau Beta frat brothers on my way to Emily. Well damn, I’m way too tipsy to drive, I thought to myself as I pulled my best friend away from a guy she was dance fighting with.

  “Saharaaaaa! I owned his ass! He didn’t want none of this!” Emily started doing what started out as a shimmy and ended in a Harlem Shake.

  Laughing, I replied, “No he didn’t girl. That was all you.”

  Pulling my phone from my clutch, I called Emily’s older brother Emanuel to pick us up. As a senior at Delta Southern U. with one more final standing between him and graduation, we figured it was a safe bet that Emanuel would not only be home tonight, but also he would be sober. We agreed on the drive to the frat house that Emanuel would be the emergency designated driver. Unfortunately, we forgot to run the plan by him. Although he was irritated at being awakened before a major exam scheduled for 9am Saturday morning, Emanuel didn’t want to risk us driving ourselves.

  Twenty minutes and some fresh air later, Emanuel pulled up in his Black SUV. Emanuel had the same black hair, grey eyes, full lips and olive skin as Emily. Emanuel was tall and completely made of lean muscle, typical of most basketball players who are NBA bound. Athleticism ran in the Mills family—Emanuel’s graduation plan consisted of going to play basketball in Italy for a year.

  I flirted shamelessly with Emanuel for years, but he didn’t bite. Always referring to me as his little sister’s best friend, he would roll his eyes at my advances. But something change
d when I started at Delta Southern U. We almost kissed at the Mills house during Thanksgiving break. From that point forward, we’d had a lot of those moments. I knew I was in love and my gut told me he felt the same way. It was in the way he looked at me—his eyes were very intense and I felt as though he could see my soul. We’d been friends for years and then suddenly there was this undeniable sexual tension. All he had to do was give me a look and I was his for the taking. For whatever reason, he never acted on it. But I was definitely willing. In my mind, I was the future Mrs. Sahara Mills. I just needed him to get on board seeing as how I’d been not-so-secretly in love with Emanuel Mills since I was 5 years old!

  Being a couple inches shorter than Emily, I allowed her much taller and much stronger brother put her in the car behind the driver’s seat. Climbing into the backseat beside her, I buckled Emily in and then I buckled myself. “Thank you Emanuel,” I whispered, blowing him a kiss. Looking at me over his right shoulder, Emanuel gave me a slow, sexy smile and shook his head. The short drive back to campus was silent. Emily’s head was against the window and her eyes were shut tight. Breaking the silence, she groaned, “I feel like crap, Sahara! You know you owe me big time. Big. Time. Why did you make me go to this party?”

  Emanuel glanced in the rearview mirror and said, “Ohhhh so this is your fault Sahara?” as he slowed to a smooth stop at the stop sign before the freshman and sophomore girls’ dorm entrance. Before I could defend myself, a loud screeching noise broke the silence. A shiny green F-150 truck rammed into the back of Emanuel’s SUV with such force that it caused us to careen into the intersection. The campus police car was driving too fast to stop in time to avoid colliding with us. The last thing I remembered was making eye contact with Emanuel in the rearview mirror before slipping out of consciousness.

  May 12, 2007

  “Graduating from University of Virginia with a Master’s in Human Resources, we are surprised to find out that you skipped your college graduation to interview with us, Ms. Lee. We don’t want you to have regrets,” Deborah Jones, Vice President of Human Resources stated as she glanced up from her clipboard. I looked from Deborah Jones to Art Miller and smiled my most perfect smile.

  “The opportunity to work at Miller Security is an opportunity of a lifetime. I am a graduate. I will get my degree. I will celebrate with my family and friends. But if you were only able to see me today, I made the absolute best choice for me. No regrets. Being able to show you how I can be an asset to your company are what the last 5 years of college prepared me for.” And I meant it, no regrets. But I wasn’t honest about the friends and family piece. I would need to actually have friends and family to celebrate with friends and family. And I don’t think they would want to know that I never even purchased my cap and gown because I never planned on walking at graduation.

  “Well said Ms. Lee. Let’s get started,” Art Miller eyes twinkled with what I could only assume was respect as the CEO of Miller Security wrote down a note on the legal pad in his portfolio.

  “I see on your resume that you transferred from Delta Southern University to University of Virginia. And while at Delta Southern, you did an internship at Medical Plus. How did that internship go? And why did you choose to leave?” Mrs. Jones inquired with her pen poised.

  I was anticipating that question; however, I hoped it wouldn’t come up. I left my internship a few weeks early because of what happened four years ago. My stomach churned as I tried to force down all the emotions that come with the memories of that night. Focus Sahara, focus.

  "The internship went extremely well. I have a letter of recommendation from my direct supervisor and the CEO of the company. I'm a hard worker and I'm very dedicated." Pausing to take a sip of water, I continued, "I left the internship a little early in order to move to Virginia." Afraid of my voice revealing too much because of the rush of emotions that welled up, I bit down on the tip of my tongue.

  "I see you were very busy your freshman year--taking 42 credit hours before sophomore year even begins is unheard of! How did you manage that?" Mrs. Jones asked with a bit of wonder in her voice.

  “My father worked at Delta Southern so I was able to start taking my classes for free in the summer after high school graduation. I am a dedicated worker and I seized the opportunity. If my father’s job was going to allow me to take classes for free, I was going to take as many classes as possible.” I took another sip of water and silently prayed that we could move this interview away from my time at Delta Southern and all of the memories associated with it.

  “Very good,” Mr. Miller started. “Now we know you are dedicated and hard working. Your grades, your recommendations, your experience speak to that truth. But I’d like to know how your coworkers would describe you?”

  Honestly, they would probably describe me as standoffish. I’m not the social butterfly I used to be. I don’t socialize at all really. I just can’t. Not after what happened. I just focus on school and work. But not wanting to give a bad impression, I responded with a pretty version of the truth: “I would be described as a focused, determined, private person.”

  Mr. Miller laughed, “In other words, standoffish,” reading through the strategically placed adjectives. “Basically, you’re telling me you’re a fresh out of college version of Deborah!” Mrs. Jones rolled her eyes and struggled to fight the grin that warmed her wrinkled face. Their lighthearted banter reminded me of what I used to have. The emotions threatened to overtake me so I forced a smile and offered the only response I could muster.

  “Not being very social is what helps us to excel at our job,” smiling directly at Mrs. Jones, I continued. “For instance, in order to be the neutral party one has to be entirely neutral. To handle interoffice drama, one must be outside of the fray to negate any allegations of favoritism or fraternization. So standoffish works!” I ended with more pep than I felt. I looked from Mrs. Jones to Mr. Miller with a bright smile to try to cover the real reason I’m cold and distant. Focusing on the icy glass in front of me, I took a big gulp, swallowing cold water and the feelings of loss and devastation.

  “I think we’ve found our newest team member,” Mrs. Jones beamed at me with quiet excitement. I smiled back at her and then looked over at Mr. Miller. He was writing on his legal pad. I glanced back Mrs. Jones who was still smiling at me. I tried not to be nervous, but Mr. Miller allowed the silence to fill the room. When he finished writing, he closed his portfolio with a snap and he stared at me. And I couldn’t do anything but meet his gaze.

  Finally, he broke the stillness in the room by standing up abruptly. “Ms. Lee, I am rarely impressed with interviewees—especially the ones fresh out of college. But you have been a breath of fresh air…a complete revelation. I would love to offer you the Human Resources Manager position. I have a gut feeling about you. You are a go-getter. And quite frankly, when you can charm Deborah, I know you’re a keeper.” Walking around the conference room table, Mr. Miller extended his large hand to me. “If you choose to accept, let me be the first to welcome you to the Miller Security team, Ms. Lee.”

  After formally accepting the position and leaving the interview, I walked out of the Miller Security Tower and let out a gasp of air. Miller Security Tower is no tower by New York City standards but in Richland, it was an architectural dream. Being the biggest building in the area and taking up the entire block, Miller Security Tower housed a number of lucrative businesses and banking institutions. Miller Security inhabited the top 5 floors of the beautifully designed glass and steel building. And one of those offices now belonged to me. I shook my head at the thought and glanced back at the building.

  The Miller Security Tower was similar in design to a number of other buildings in the modern downtown neighborhood. The mix of newer, sleeker glass structures mixed with older, refurbished brick landmarks created a beautiful world of old and new, modern and timeless beauty. Downtown Richland encompassed the best food, entertainment, and real estate in Maryland. One could argue that Richland is a prime pla
ce to live. It will certainly be a prime place to escape.

  Chapter 1

  Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the cold, sterile office. I needed to feel the sun on my skin to fight the chill that was starting to take over my body.

  “Sahara! Ms. Lee!” a voice from behind me yelled as my favorite work shoes, a pair of Diane von Furstenberg platforms, made contact with the stone walkway.

  “Yes?” I questioned to the petite receptionist with wide set blue eyes and mousy brown hair pulled. I can’t remember her name—why am I so bad with names? I chastised myself as I waited for her to dig through a thick folder with various papers.

  “I forgot to give you this. We look forward to you joining the executive team! See you Monday,” she smiled brightly as she handed me some instructions and a temporary parking pass.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it!” I smiled politely, taking the items from her with my left hand and reaching out to shake her free hand with my right.

  After she turned on her heel to scurry away, my smile faltered. I turned my face up to the sun and let the heat seep in. Working my ass off for almost 6 years at Miller Security has resulted in an upper management position—Human Resources Director. At 28 years old, I managed to become the youngest director at Miller Security. But as usual, this newest accomplishment wasn’t enough. “Nothing will ever be enough,” I muttered to myself as I opened my eyes and pulled my iPod from my handbag. After another deep breath, I let my eyes flit around my surroundings. Taking in the beauty of Downtown Richland, I slipped on my sunglasses.

  Putting my earbuds in place, I selected the soundtrack to begin my walk. Music had always been a love of mine, but over the last few years, it became essential. Whenever I needed to reset my mood or if my emotions were getting to be too much, I put on music. The poetic melody of “Street Lights” coursed through me as the 5pm crowd hustled around the streets of downtown, fleeing the 8 hour work day. And as usual, I took my time. I didn’t have friends or family waiting for me so I walked slowly, but with purpose as I let the beat of the music carry me to my destination. Music made me feel free and listening to music on the 15 minute walk to my building was always the highlight of my day.