Heartfelt Read online

  Table of Contents

  Heartfelt

  Copyright

  Dedication

  From The Author

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Playlist

  Heartless (Heartache Volume Three)

  Novels by Danielle Allen

  Acknowledgements

  Heartfelt

  By

  Danielle Allen

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2015 by Danielle Allen

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, pirating, or by an information storage and retrieval system - except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine, newspaper, or - without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Editor/Proofreader: Script Easer Editing/Shawna Gravas

  Cover Design: Bookfabulous Designs

  Photo Credit: Andrei Vishnyakov of Vishnyakov.Pro

  Formatting: CP Smith

  Dedication

  Dedicated to My Grandpa (1938 – 2015)

  Thank you for always believing in me and my creative endeavors.

  Even though you didn’t read my novels, you supported my dreams and told me you were proud of me whenever I finished a manuscript. Those were the best FIVE STAR reviews of all-time.

  I love you and I will miss you forever.

  When words fail, speak through art

  because art and love are what binds us.

  —Danielle Allen

  Prologue

  “I knew it! I called that shit! I did. Back me up, Malik. I called it!” Brad Simon, screamed enthusiastically. Brad, better known as Easy, hit me on the back to emphasize each of his words. “I knew it!”

  “You did call it, Easy,” Malik Jones agreed, smiling. He brought the beer bottle to his lips, but he didn’t take a sip. “But I was the mastermind to get them together.”

  “Bullshit!” Brad sat back down at the table with a thud. “I put the bug in their ear. You just helped him locate her workplace so he could send the invitation to his art show. Let’s be real, that was a minor contribution in comparison to the role I played.”

  “Yeah okay,” Malik scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Roman, let the man know that I pretty much upped your game and made this happen.”

  “Are you two done?” I laughed. “It was a long flight and I need to take a shower.”

  “Just admit that I’m the reason that you and B are together and I’ll drop it,” Brad argued.

  I shrugged. “What’s going on between me and B is between me and B.”

  Brad looked at Malik and pointed his thumb at me. “Oh so now he’s trying to downplay it?”

  Malik shook his head. “Come on, Roman. We both know you’re in love with B. Don’t try to play us!”

  My phone vibrated against the table. Looking down and seeing who was calling, my heart faltered. Keeping my face from erupting into the smile that was playing at the corners of my mouth, I answered the call.

  In an attempt to sound nonchalant, I cleared my throat before I spoke. “B.”

  Her nickname came out like a raspy whisper and as soon as the word escaped my lips, Malik and Brad burst out laughing. I stood up and marched to the other side of the kitchen. Their laughter followed me.

  “So I’m guessing you told the guys?”

  I started laughing and she joined in.

  I closed my eyes briefly. God, I love that sound.

  “Yeah, I told them.”

  “B!” Brad yelled. “B!”

  I narrowed my eyes at him as he chanted her name. “Easy has something he wants to tell you, but I don’t trust him.”

  Bianca giggled lightly. “I can handle Easy. Put him on.”

  Making my way back to the table, I remained standing. “I’m going to put you on speaker.”

  Hitting the button, I announced, “Okay, everyone can hear you.”

  “Bianca Baker,” Brad called out, leaning forward. “I have two questions for you.” He cut his eyes at me briefly before returning them to stare at the phone as I sat it on the table. “Who do you feel was more instrumental in getting you and Roman together?”

  Bianca answered without hesitation. “Malik. Hands down.”

  Malik laughed. “Thanks, B. I tried to tell him.”

  When my laughter mixed in with Malik’s, Brad gave us both the finger. “Whatever,” he grumbled.

  “You had a second question?” Bianca probed.

  “Yes.” He smiled at Malik and then at me before he stood, getting closer to the phone. “Does this hook up between you and Roman mean that if I had painted a picture of you, I would have had a chance with you?”

  The moment the sentence was out of his mouth, my entire body tensed. I knew he was joking, but heat flooded my system before I had a chance to process the joke.

  “What the hell?” I burst out automatically. I opened my mouth to continue, but Bianca’s voice broke through, interrupting me.

  “No,” she retorted sweetly. “There’s actually no situation in which you would have had a chance with me. In fact—”

  “Here we go!” Malik yelled, clapping his hands.

  I could see in Brad’s eyes that he was joking around, but the idea of anyone flirting with Bianca, even my best friend of twenty plus years, created a reaction out of me. I inhaled roughly, trying to calm myself down.

  I know he’s joking, I told myself. I know he is trying to get a reaction out of me.

  “Stop Malik,” she laughed as Malik continued to make noise. “I need to break this down for Easy. Easy, are you listening?”

  “Yeah,” Brad answered, eyeing me as he reclined in his chair. He was baiting me, trying to get me to admit my feelings.

  I narrowed my eyes and smirked. I see what you’re trying to do.

  “You could’ve painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and I wouldn’t have given two fucks,” Bianca continued.

  I felt my grip loosening on the chair as a laugh rippled through me. I hadn’t realized the wood was digging into my palms until the relief and tension eased.

  “You should see the look on his face, B. He’s trying not to laugh!” Malik choked out through bursts of laughter.

  “No, he’s trying to figure out what the Sistine Chapel is,” she joked in return.

  “I know what it is,” Brad argued with a straight face. “I’m just trying to figure out where it is.”

  The room roared with laughter again.

  I looked back and forth between Malik and
Brad and I listened to Bianca’s voice over the phone and for one minute, I reveled in the feeling of family that settled over me.

  “Oh!” Bianca screeched, abruptly halting her laughter. “Something is going on with Amber, she’s crying. Let me call you back. Malik, Easy, I’ll talk to you guys soon. Ro…”

  Picking up the phone, I hit the button, making the call private again. “Is everything okay?” I asked, turning my back to Malik and Brad and moving to the other side of the kitchen.

  “I think so. She’s… oh shit, her water broke! I have to get her to the hospital!”

  “Yeah, go, go! Do you need anything?” I asked, running my hand down my face.

  Not that I can really do anything for her six hours away, I thought, gripping the counter. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to take care of her. I shouldn’t have left today.

  “Wait by the door, Amber. I’m going to get your bag,” Bianca’s muffled voice directed before she returned her attention to me. “All I need is for you to know how much I love you.”

  “I love you, too, B. And I’m here if you need me.”

  “I know.”

  We disconnected the call and when I turned around, Malik and Brad were staring at me with smug looks on their faces.

  “What?” I bristled, slipping my phone into my pocket as I made my way to the table.

  “Now we’re getting somewhere.” Brad nodded slowly with his eyebrows raised. “So you love her?” He ran his hand through his blonde hair as he gave me a look that screamed ‘I told you so.’

  I looked from Brad to Malik, who was smiling knowingly.

  “Yes,” I said slowly. Picking up my beer, I ignored the way my heart stumbled at the thought of my feelings for Bianca.

  Brad’s face slipped into a smile as he held his beer in the air and gave me a nod. “To B.”

  Malik and I held our beers up. “To B,” we repeated in unison.

  I tipped the bottle and let the crisp cider taste swirl around my mouth before I swallowed. Thinking about Bianca, I felt something I’d never felt before with any other woman.

  I love her.

  ----------

  Chapter One

  I love her, I reminded myself as I gritted my teeth. My head was pounding and I was not in the mood to deal with an argument.

  “I threw myself into a project since you were scheduled to be at the gallery all Saturday setting up and then all night for the event,” I explained for the third time as I dropped my overnight bag onto the floor of my bedroom. “After we got off the phone on Friday, I headed to the studio, put my phone on silent and had my music turned all the way up.”

  I had been feeling off and I didn’t want to take it out on Bianca, so I took it out on my canvas. It was cathartic to just let go and paint. I had spent more time in New York than I had in Virginia over the last month. I started and stopped a painting, never giving myself enough time to really give my all to it. But starting a new piece, I threw myself into it and had the all-encompassing session in the studio that I needed.

  I did what I needed to do, I thought with a shake of my head. And now she’s pissed.

  “How would you feel if you didn’t hear from me for two days?” Bianca asked.

  I wasn’t fooled by the calmness in her voice. I knew she was pissed, but I didn’t know why.

  “It wasn’t two days. It was a few hours,” I countered, stripping out of my paint splattered clothes.

  Thirty-six hours is not two days.

  She let out a rush of air. “Roman.”

  “Bianca.”

  We were silent as I started the water for my shower.

  Why is she making a big deal out of this? If anyone should understand my process, it’s B.

  “We’ve known each other for a while now. We’ve been best friends for over a year. And as of today, we’ve been together for a month.”

  Oh! That’s it. She’s mad because I forgot we’d been together for a month. Are we celebrating our one-month anniversary? Is that a thing people celebrate? When did we become the couple that celebrates months and weeks together?

  “…you didn’t pick up the phone or call me back or even just acknowledge my text messages all day yesterday,” she continued.

  “Okay, I get it,” I sighed, frustration getting the best of me. “Happy Anniversary.”

  She was silent and each breath she took sounded strangled.

  What is the problem? I said happy anniversary!

  “Do you really think I give a damn about a one-month anniversary? We aren’t even the kind of couple that celebrates that shit, Ro. I’m talking about you disappearing for almost forty-eight hours without so much as a phone call or text message! You—”

  “Fine,” I interrupted through clenched teeth.

  She was quiet again.

  Even at almost three hundred and fifty miles away from one another, I could feel her annoyance with me. But I was tired and frustrated and I needed a shower. Closing my eyes, I ran my hand down my face and took a deep breath.

  “Look…I need to take a shower. I’ll talk to you a little later.”

  She paused. “Fine. Goodbye.”

  I opened my mouth to say goodbye, but she had already disconnected the call.

  “What the hell is going on?” I grumbled, stepping out of the bathroom to put my phone on the charger. Placing it on the nightstand, I looked at it for a minute as if I were expecting Bianca to call back.

  Like I don’t have enough on my plate as it is, I thought as I headed back to the waiting shower.

  As soon as I stepped into the steady stream of water, my entire body relaxed. The tension that tightened my muscles and contributed to my stress headache started melting away. The hot water burned my skin as I closed my eyes and let it rain over me.

  Shit.

  The gnawing pit in my stomach was the first sign that told me she was right. The heaviness in my chest was the second sign.

  I thought she would be busy with the event she was working, but I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to call her. I should have called her though. I should’ve taken a break and reached out to her. But I didn’t and now she’s pissed.

  Lathering up my body with soap, I let the thought consume me.

  It’s not like I didn’t think about her the entire time. She was on my mind. She’s always on my mind. The painting I worked on all night is inspired by her. She’s my muse.

  Grabbing my towel, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped it around me as I padded my way into my bedroom. Still damp and dripping water droplets everywhere, I grabbed my phone and sat on the edge of the bed.

  The phone rang three times before she answered.

  “Yes?”

  I smirked at her attitude. “I get it. If you were to go a day without calling me or answering my calls, it would drive me crazy.”

  “I know it would. And I started not to pick up just now just to prove my point,” Bianca replied without hesitation. I could hear the amusement in her voice.

  Knowing the argument had passed, I smiled, relief replacing the sinking feeling. “Well I’m glad you didn’t. I would’ve had to drive all the way to New York to talk to you.”

  “You would’ve driven all the way to New York to talk to me after ignoring me all weekend?”

  “I would drive any distance if it meant I could talk to you.”

  I could hear her smiling through the phone and a warmth radiated through me. I reclined back against my pillows with a smile on my face.

  She made a noise before she commented. “Don’t run game on me, Ro.”

  “I’m not.”

  And I wasn’t. I would do anything for her. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel the way I felt about Bianca. I loved her with every fiber of my being.

  “So what happened this weekend?”

  But that didn’t mean it still wasn’t a struggle to open up to her, I thought as I let out a sigh.

  I’d opened up and told Bianca more than I’d ever told anyon
e. But it was still a struggle to do it. Not because I didn’t trust her, but because I was used to being on my own. I was used to not having to confide in or be responsible to anyone but myself.

  “Ro?” Her voice was soft as she prodded the words out of me.

  “I just needed to clear my mind.” I sat up and took a breath before I continued. “I got a call from Elizabeth late Friday night.” I paused. “William died.”

  William is dead, I repeated silently.

  “Oh my God, Ro! I’m so sorry.”

  “Yeah…thanks.”

  “That’s… wow. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” My sentence trailed off and I stared at the wall as I tried to focus my thoughts. “I spent so much time being angry at him that it felt like I was only just getting to know him over the last few months. And now he’s gone.”

  “Oh Ro… I’m—” Her words cut short in favor of a somber sigh. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “I’ve just been running everything through my mind and life is short. You never know when you might lose someone you love.”

  My heart constricted as I said the words that had been haunting me all weekend out loud.

  “Oh God, Ro. Do you need me to come down? I could hop in the car and be in Richmond by three in the morning.” Her voice was tender and sweet and dripping with sincerity.

  Running my hands down my face, I shook off the feeling that settled over me.

  “Yeah, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

  Bianca was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to be.”

  I cleared my throat. “What?” I asked in confusion.

  “He’s your dad, Ro. It’s okay if you’re upset. You don’t have to be okay. You don’t have to be fine. Not with me.”

  My heart stopped and then sped up. Every single day she made me love her more and that fact both scared and exhilarated me.

  “I love you, B.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “And I’m fine because I have you,” I continued. “I know I fucked up by falling off of the grid this weekend, but you do know how much you mean to me, right? Being in a relationship is still an adjustment for me, but you are—”